do you see my vision?!™
FRESH MEAT.
Lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I’m still, but internally panicking. What am I doing with my life? What am I doing here? Where am I going? It’s an experience we all know, and a confrontation we must all make with ourselves and our futures. It can be terrifying, but it can also be liberating to know that your life is entirely in your hands and that you have the power to shape it into anything you want.
But when you give it more than a few minutes of thought at a time, and your anxiety creeps in, it can be overwhelming. It can cause your mind to spiral as you keep finding more and more questions to ask yourself, for which there are no answers.
FRESH MEAT is the result of being frozen in fear, yet afraid of not moving forward. A mind caught in limbo, stuck between uncertainty and desire. It’s about being painfully aware of your own becoming; wanting to grow, wanting to move, wanting more, while still figuring out how to take that first step.
Lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I’m still, but internally panicking. What am I doing with my life? What am I doing here? Where am I going? It’s an experience we all know, and a confrontation we must all make with ourselves and our futures. It can be terrifying, but it can also be liberating to know that your life is entirely in your hands and that you have the power to shape it into anything you want.
But when you give it more than a few minutes of thought at a time, and your anxiety creeps in, it can be overwhelming. It can cause your mind to spiral as you keep finding more and more questions to ask yourself, for which there are no answers.
FRESH MEAT is the result of being frozen in fear, yet afraid of not moving forward. A mind caught in limbo, stuck between uncertainty and desire. It’s about being painfully aware of your own becoming; wanting to grow, wanting to move, wanting more, while still figuring out how to take that first step.
Creative Director and Photographer Nylen Brewington Al-AhmarMuse Grace Lloyd
Shot with a Canon EOS R50 RF-S18-45mm
Edited in Adobe Lightroom
Shot with a Canon EOS R50 RF-S18-45mm
Edited in Adobe Lightroom
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part one: IMMINENCE
Naturally, with newfound freedom comes an element of fear: a daunting discovery I’ve made after longing for the freedom of adulthood for so, so long. The freedom of choice, self-expression without limitation, and the expansion of my world. For years, I have craved autonomy more than anything else.
“Sometimes,
existential dread
comes ringing through loud and clear.
I’ll adjust
and simply let go.
I guess it is what it is.
I’m not sure of what’s coming next.
But I’ll be alright
as long as I keep breathing.
I know I’ll be alright.
I know I’ll be alright.”
Existential Dread by Thundercat
existential dread
comes ringing through loud and clear.
I’ll adjust
and simply let go.
I guess it is what it is.
I’m not sure of what’s coming next.
But I’ll be alright
as long as I keep breathing.
I know I’ll be alright.
I know I’ll be alright.”
Existential Dread by Thundercat
part two: SPIRAL
But now that I have it, now that my future is entirely in my hands, I am afraid. I am excited, but I am afraid. I am standing at the edge of a new era, my twenties holding a world of possibility. But only if I take the first step. Forcing myself out of paralysis, I begin to tiptoe forward, agreeing to sacrifice the safety of my comfort, embracing discomfort as a means to grow.
“Live slow, die old.
Take your time.”
Take Your Time by Nascent and Ab-Soul
Take your time.”
Take Your Time by Nascent and Ab-Soul
part three: RESPITE
It hurts as I peel my eyes away from a past once laid out for me, ripping the bandaid off my fear of failure. I allow the wound to bleed, as I determine a way to heal myself. I’m not meant to understand everything about everything, I’m not supposed to know exactly what my path looks like. I am just meant to walk it.
The fear that comes with freedom can be deafening, consuming, paralyzing. But it is not a warning sign. It is a catapult into your future. It is a product of the realization that the power is in all your hands. Let it empower you. Let it set you on fire.
The fear that comes with freedom can be deafening, consuming, paralyzing. But it is not a warning sign. It is a catapult into your future. It is a product of the realization that the power is in all your hands. Let it empower you. Let it set you on fire.
“Feels like a million years
since I got out of bed.
My brain’s fried from the lies
I’ve been tellin’ myself.
To be honest, I have secrets
that I always kept,
And now it’s time for me to get out
and just me myself…
…hello (I’m gettin’ older now)
hello (I’m ever changin’ now).”
Hello by Q
since I got out of bed.
My brain’s fried from the lies
I’ve been tellin’ myself.
To be honest, I have secrets
that I always kept,
And now it’s time for me to get out
and just me myself…
…hello (I’m gettin’ older now)
hello (I’m ever changin’ now).”
Hello by Q
EXTRAS